Who Packs Your Parachute?
Rev. Mark Stringer

First Unitarian Church of Des Moines

11/11/01

 

Reading

“Contact” by Gordon McKeeman

 

I stretch forth my hand

        Knowing not what I shall touch…

                A tender spot,

                An open wound,

                Warmth,

                Pulsing life,

                Fragile blossoms,

                A rock,

                Ice.

I am tentative, trembling…

        Wishing to avoid hurt,

        Wanting to link my life with Life.

        Lonely, I desire companions

        Naked, I long for defenders.

        Lost, I want to find…

                To be found.

Will I touch strangers

        Or enemies

        Or nothing?

My hand is withdrawn

        But still it touches

                My vulnerable skin, my furrowed brow,

                My empty pocket, my full heart.

                Do others reach, tremble, withdraw?

                Do they desire, long, seek?

                Are they lonely, fearful, lost?

                Will they grasp a tentative, trembling hand?

I stretch forth my hand

        Knowing not what I shall touch…

        But hoping…

 

Sermon

When I discovered that the endowment disbursement committee had planned a presentation for this Sunday, I figured that it would be a good time to share this modern day parable:

 

There was a woman who wanted peace in the world and peace in her heart and all sorts of good things, but she was very frustrated.  The world seemed to be falling apart.  She would read the papers and get depressed.  One day she decided to go shopping, and she went into a mall and picked a store at random.  She walked in and was surprised to see Jesus behind the counter.  She knew it was Jesus, because he looked just like the pictures she’d seen on holy cards and devotional pictures.  She looked up again at him, and finally she got up her nerve and asked, “Excuse me, are you Jesus?”  “I am.”  “Do you work here?”  “No,” Jesus said, “I own the store.”  “Oh, what do you sell in here?”  “Oh, just about anything!”  “Anything?”  “Yeah, anything you want.  What do you want?”  She said, “I don’t know.”  “Well,” Jesus said, “feel free, walk up and down the aisles, make a list, see what it is you want, and then come back and we’ll see what we can do for you.”

        She did just that, walked up and down the aisles.  There was peace on earth, no more war, no hunger or poverty, peace in families, no more drugs, harmony, clean air, careful use of resources.  She wrote furiously.  By the time she got back to the counter, she had a long list.  Jesus took the list, skimmed through it, looked up at her and smiled.  “No problem.” And then he bent down behind the counter and picked out all sorts of things, stood up, and laid out the packets.  She asked, “What are these?”  Jesus replied, “Seed packets.  This is a catalog store.” She said, “You mean I don’t get the finished product?”  “No, this is a place of dreams.  You come and see what it looks like, and I give you the seeds.  You plant the seeds.  You go home and nurture them and help them to grow and someone else reaps the benefits.”  “Oh,” she said.  And she left the store without buying anything.[1]

 

I think this church is like that catalog store.  We gather together here and through dialogue and socializing and learning and questioning, we choose and collect the seed packets to our dreams…dreams for our own lives and dreams for our planet.  But these seeds must be planted in order for them to grow.  Our dreams must be tended to before they will become reality.  Building a strong endowment for our church is just one way that we can tend to these seeds for it is a way to insure that First Unitarian will continue to provide a liberal religious voice here in Des Moines.  As the endowment grows, the possibilities arising from its existence will grow as well and future generations will have the opportunity to further pursue our stated mission: “to nurture the intellectual and spiritual growth of our adults and children; to provide a safe and vibrant community of support and renewal; to be a force for ethical, social and environmental responsibility in our community and world.”  Setting aside money toward the endowment is a way to share our dreams of today with those who will tend to those same dreams tomorrow.  It is a way to honor those from this church who have contributed to the quality of our lives and it is a way to contribute to the lives of people who we may never know. 

 

When I think about contributing to the lives of people we may never know, I think about the story of Charles Plumb, a U.S. Naval Academy graduate, who served as a jet pilot in Vietnam. Perhaps you too have heard his story, for it has been the subject of a popular Internet message for several months.  After having successfully completed 75 combat missions, Plumb’s plane was shot down by a surface-to-air missile.  Plumb ejected from his burning aircraft and parachuted into enemy hands.  He was captured and spent six years in a Vietnamese prison.  He did survive the ordeal and now lectures on the lessons he learned from his experience. 

Many years after his release, when Plumb and his wife were sitting in a restaurant, a man from another table recognized the former pilot and introduced himself, saying "You're Plumb! You flew jet fighters in Vietnam from the aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk, You were shot down!"

 

Plumb, startled by the man’s knowledge of his past, asked, "How in the world did you know that?"

 

"I packed your parachute," the man replied. Plumb gasped in surprise and gratitude. The man pumped his hand and said, "I guess it worked!"

 

Plumb assured him, "It sure did. If your chute hadn't worked, I wouldn't be here today."

 

Plumb couldn't sleep that night, thinking about that man. Plumb says, "I kept wondering what he might have looked like in a Navy uniform: a white hat, a bib in the back, and bell-bottom trousers. I wondered how many times I might have seen him and not even said ‘Good morning, how are you?’ or anything because, you see, I was a fighter pilot and he was just a sailor.” Plumb thought of the many hours the sailor had spent on a long wooden table in the bowels of the ship, carefully weaving the shroud lines and folding the silks of each chute, holding in his hands each time the fate of someone he didn't know.

 

Now on the lecture circuit, Plumb uses this experience as a focus for his talks.  He asks his audience, "Who packs your parachute?"  Who is it that contributes to the quality of your life, often without recognition?  Who is it that provides what you need to make it through each day? Plumb points out that he needed many kinds of parachutes when his plane was shot down over enemy territory; he needed his physical parachute, his mental parachute, his emotional parachute, and his spiritual parachute. He called on all these supports before reaching safety.  Plumb’s six-year confinement gave him a great deal of time to think about those in his life who had offered him words and gestures of encouragement, support and challenge. And now, many years after the war, Plumb’s visit with the sailor who had literally packed his parachute, again reminded him of the gifts we can unknowingly receive every day…gifts freely offered by those who often go unnoticed, or unappreciated.  Gifts that once acknowledged can transform our lives.

 

This morning, in our continued celebration of life, I’m thinking about those people who impact our lives in a positive way, often times without recognition—people such as the clerk at a local store who always offers a pleasant smile, the supportive family member who loves unconditionally, the teacher who gave us the courage to believe in ourselves at the time when we needed it the most, the public servants who keep our cities running safely—the police department, the fire department, construction and sanitation workers.  The list is endless, and I guess that is the point.  We all have the ability…if not the responsibility…to pack each other’s parachutes, to make life easier for our companions on this earth.  You never know how your simple acts of kindness can impact the world, but rest assured, they will.

 

Before and during my time in seminary, I spent some time in a job that taught me a lot about kindness and serving others:  I waited tables in a suburban Chicago cafe. Over my seven-year tenure as a waiter, I served food to thousands of people, encountering in the process a wide variety of personalities.  Here you might expect me to tell you stories of how I ministered to the needs of my customers, how I worked to brighten the day of those who sat in my section.  While I suppose that may have happened from time to time, I believe my customers may have served me more than I served them.  As those of you who have waited tables could confirm, hungry people are not always the easiest to be around. With apparent ease, some customers can disregard what we might call the inherent worth and dignity of those serving them…particularly when they are not being served in a way that meets their expectations.  These customers allow their hunger, or privilege, or general impatience, to overwhelm their recognition that the people they are disrespecting are the same people who will eventually help them alleviate their hunger.  Talk about biting the hand that feeds you.  Though it wasn’t always easy, I could usually see past this behavior; I could disregard the way certain customers barked their orders, or demanded special attention, or refused to look me in the eye.  I could see that underneath their mistreatment of their waiter was a foundation of sorrow probably many years in the making.  The primary reason I could maintain my composure with those who had apparently lost theirs was the knowledge that for every difficult customer, there were several who did try their best to see me as more than just a server…who saw me as a person who happened to be a server.  These were people who took the time to acknowledge my presence before them, who were sensitive to my circumstances, who could see that I was hard at work and who knew that, even when their food took longer than they expected, there were many doing their best in an attempt to keep them happy.  These kind customers were some of the people who packed my parachute as I worked my way through seminary.  They kept tabs on my progress, offered words of encouragement, and reminded me of the importance of kindness.  And in turn, their generosity of spirit empowered me to be more patient with the people who were not so giving. Kindness seems to work that way…it is contagious.  And those of us who have been lucky enough to receive the gift of kindness have a responsibility to pass it on.  Along these lines, I appreciate the words of a woman who has had the privilege of being raised with kindness.  She says:

“I am one of these people who have been loved every day of my life.  I am a person who has been told by the words or actions of those people closest to me, ‘We just think you’re great.  You can just do anything.  You can be anything.’  I remember thinking a long time ago that in this painful world, if you have been given the kind of things I’ve been given…the gift[s] of limitless expectations for your life, and security, and a nest to come from, one that was warm and safe, and you look around you and if you have any sensitivity at all, you know that’s not the way most people got their start or live their lives.  And for me I would think it would be the road to madness if you didn’t try to give some of it away.”[2]

 

Of course, not all of us have experienced that kind of loving childhood or that constant encouragement.  I think that is why it is so important for those of us who have known kindness to share the wealth, to give to those who might not know how to give back.  Even if we do not see an immediate reward, we can still reach out to others, assured that the kindness we offer will eventually return to us. Giving kindness away, without expectation of it being returned, is one of the means by which we can pack the parachutes of others, but perhaps more importantly it is a way we can pack our own parachutes. When we give of ourselves to others, we empower them to do the same, and thereby increase the greater spiritual wealth of our world.  Albert Schweitzer conveyed this point well when he wrote, “I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know:  the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.”

 

In our busy lives, it can be easy to overlook those around us, to allow our desire to chip away at our never-ending list of tasks to overwhelm our ability to see how our actions impact the lives of others. And yet, when we add to the quality of life of our companions on this earth, we contribute to the increased possibility of a world where the quality of our lives will improve as well…a world where justice and kindness are the norm.

 

As you go forth into this day of beauty and possibility, reflect on those people who pack your parachute, who by their good spirit, or kind deeds, or hard work encourage you to face each day with courage and resolve.  Recognize the gifts you have received and give them back.  Our world is in need of the parachute that only you can pack.

 



[1] McKenna, Megan Parables:  The Arrows of God, (Kent, England: Burns & Oates), 1994.

[2] Kay Hardie, quoted in Some Do Care, by Anne Colby and William Damon, 1992.