“Where Has My Village Gone?”

February 29, 2004

by Darius Jackson

Member: First Unitarian Church of Des Moines

 

CALL TO GATHER

"we are all human beings. Maybe we have different clothes, our skin is of a different colour, or we speak different languages. That is on the surface. But basically, we are the same human beings. That is what binds us to each other. That is what makes it possible for us to understand each other and to develop friendship and closeness".

The Dalai Lama's Nobel Lecture, University Aula, Oslo, December 11, 1989

 

 

 

OFFERTORY

Let there be an offering to sustain and strengthen this church, a community of hope for we are now keepers of the dream.

 

 

MEDITATION

The Story of the Fisher King"
written by Richard LaGravenese

Did you ever hear the story of the Fisher King?

It begins with the King as a boy--having to spend a night alone in the forest to prove his courage so that he could become king. While he was alone, he's visited by a sacred vision. Out of the fire appears the Holy Grail, the symbol of [God's divine] grace. And a voice spoke to the boy, "You shall be the keeper of the Grail, that it may heal the hearts of men." But the boy was blinded by greater visions, of a life filled with power and glory and beauty...And in this state of radical amazement, he felt for a brief moment not like a boy, but invincible...like God. And so he reached into the fire to take the Grail. And the Grail vanished. Leaving him with his hand in the fire, to be terribly wounded.
Now, as this boy grew older, his wound grew deeper, until one day, life for him lost its reason. He had no faith in any man, not even himself. He couldn't love or feel love. He was sick with experience. He began to die.
One day, a fool wandered into the castle and found th! e king alone. Being a fool, he was simple-minded, he didn't see a king, he saw a man alone and in pain. And he asked the king, "What ails you, friend?" The king replied, "I'm thirsty. I need a some water to cool my throat." So the fool took a cup from beside the bed, filled it with water, handed it to the king. As the king began to drink he realized that his wound was healed. He looked at his hands, and there was the Holy Grail that which he sought all his life! And he turned to the fool and said in amazement, "How could you find that which what my brightest and bravest could not?" And the fool replied, "I don't know. I only knew that you were thirsty."... Very beautiful, isn't it?

 

SERMON

As a boy growing up on the south side of Chicago, I have a very distinct memory of our " neighborhood" Mr. Buchanan was our landlord and " Mom " Black lived at the other end of the block. Mr. Silas, a retiree, who, at the time, had the best lawn on the block, lived in between and my mom's good friends the Burchetts lived across the street. I remember the hot, Chicago summers riding bikes with my friends and playing "strikeout" ( in strikeout you paint a big x in a box on the wall to represent the strike zone and the "umpire" stands behind the pitcher. It allowed us to play baseball with as little as 3 people, a rubber ball, a bat and a glove. (2 people if you were really good friends) And I remember the winters bundled up so only your eyes were exposed, throwing snowballs and playing street football.( I actually had five stitches in my little finger, I had a Buick in tight coverage deep.)

As I have grown older. I reflect on those days and I think of how happy and safe I felt. Even in Chicago, even on " The South Side", I knew as long as I stayed in my neighborhood, stayed on my side of the tracks , to use a cliche, things would be O.K. .There would be someone watching, someone to call for help, someone to call my mom-which, was not always a good thing. As I look back at this time in my life I realize that in spite of the concrete and the haze, the traffic and trash this place... was my Village.

Where has my village gone.?

As children we were all told " everyone hold hands because we won't get anywhere if we don't all get there together." When did they tell us we could let go?.

Many of you know my wife and I met in Denver. We were both, unbeknownst to each other for several years actually, a part of the amateur theatre community. Individually and as a couple we had a supportive network of friends and a comfortable social life. Shortly after the birth of Devereaux, our first, that peer support diminished and we found ourselves increasingly isolated. As we adjusted to life as a family we began the search to regain that lost sense of community, a search which eventually lead us to Des Moines and this congregation.

But even in our new neighborhood that sense of community that describes my childhood, that sense of village is still lacking.

Felton Earls,
Professor of Human Behavior and Development
Department of Society, Human Development, and Health

who is currently a professor of Social Medicine at Harvard Medical School, co-authored a study, published in the August 1997 issue of Science magazine, in it he states:" We hypothesized that something other than race or poverty explains crime rates and that residential stability is an overlooked feature of relatively safer neighborhoods". His conclusion "It is not stressful circumstances as such that do harm to children," he has said. "Rather, it is the quality of their interpersonal relationships and their transactions with the wider social and material environment that lead to behavioral, emotional and physical health problems. If stress matters, it is in terms of how it influences the relationships that are important to the child.! " Said another way, neighborliness -- a willingness to help when help is needed and especially to look out for one another's children -- has more to do with crime (or its relative absence) than income, race or family social status.

In a recent article in the Baltimore Sun written By Carol Spigner a professor at the University of Pennsylvania School of Social Work and a member of the Pew Commission on Children in Foster Care. She writes, in part,

There is an old African proverb: "It takes a village to raise a child." Growing up in an African-American community in the 1940s and 1950s, I felt connected to those around me. As a community, and as families, we nurtured and protected one another, and the children flourished.

Today, our connectedness to the community, and sometimes to our own families, has fractured. We work longer hours, live far from extended family members and lack meaningful relationships with neighbors. For our most vulnerable families, this challenge is made much harder due to poverty, limited social support and inadequate transportation and child care.

Indeed how many of us here today would truly say we would be comfortable leaving our children in the care of one of our neighbors in the case of an emergency, let alone if we simply had to run to the store to pick up some milk.

Where has my village Gone?

In the January 18^th service, Terry Little read a passage From the Gospel book of Matthew, Chapter 25: which reads

The King will say to those at his right hand, "Come Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me, naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for me, in prison and you visited me." Then the righteous will answer him and say, "Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? When did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? When did we see you ill or in prison, and visit you?" And the king will say to them in reply, "Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me." During that days sermon Mark goes on to say :

"the wisdom of the passage is not, I think, in its literal expression of one group staying with God and the other being relegated to some holding tank of eternal punishment. The insight of the passage as I see it is that if we are not concerned with the well-being of others to the same degree that we are concerned with our own well-being, we will eventually suffer fractures in our community which in his theology he states: is where the divine resides in community with others."

Mark continues by saying "humans are creatures who by and large crave community; we long for opportunities to share with, care for, and learn from our companions. And that he adheres to the notion of the divine as what theologian Henry Nelson Wieman called creative interchange, a process that gives us our best shot for increased understanding, more empathy for our companions, and a greater capacity for us to pass on the good news of creative interchange to others. The alternative to this process Mark says is "that we become so preoccupied with our own needs and desires or maybe our own fear that we forget our companions are pursuing their own development as individuals. We shut ourselves off from our community, and most likely find our disregard returned".

In his well know "Hierarchy of Needs", humanist scientist, Abraham Maslow asserts that human’s have Five Basic Levels of Needs. These are Physiological Needs (the need for air, water and food), Security Needs, Love, Affection and Belonging, Self Esteem and Self Actualization. Maslow further states, that a person does not feel compelled by the needs of the second level until the demands of the first are met and so on. In Maslow’s model, the needs for Love, Affection and Belonging are the third rung of the ladder below Self Esteem. This suggests that our need to establish a sense of belonging, a sense of community is a more urgent need than our need to feel good about ourselves.

This compelling need for community as I said earlier is, in fact, what has drawn many of us to this very congregation. Yet for many, in the very places that we live, sleep and eat, our blocks, cull-de-sacs and neighborhoods, that sense of neighborliness, of community, of village is missing.

Where has our village gone?

 

Recently I was forwarded an eloquent... wonderful Message by George Carlin written after the death of his wife. Once I read it I knew it was something I had to share.

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but
shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but
have less, we buy more, but enjoy less.
We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less
time.
We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more
experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little,
drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced ! our values. We talk too
much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life.
We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the
moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor.
We conquered outer space but not inner space.
We've done larger things, but not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.
We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice.
We write more, but learn less.
We plan more, but accomplish less.
We've learned to rush, but not to wait.
We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies
than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small
character, steep profits and shallow relationships.
These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but
broken homes.
These are days of quick trips,! disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one
night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to
quiet, to kill.
It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the
stockroom.
A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can
choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.
Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going
to be around forever.
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because
that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.
Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the
only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.
Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most
of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.
Remember to hold hands and cherish the ! moment for someday that person will
not be there again.
Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious
thoughts in your mind.
Maybe the question isn’t where has my village gone, but why we have we abandoned them?

I’d like to ask you to please stand as you are able, and join in singing our closing hymn "We are Children of the Earth."

 

Darius Jackson

jaxunfamily@earthlink.net