Forgiveness is not a shared construct. Think about that for just a minute. When you have been unable to forgive someone for something, how much of that has been because they just wouldn’t admit what they did? Because they did not feel sorry- or didn’t seem sincere enough in their efforts to make it right? Somehow it matters that they validate our experience of being hurt, that the extent of their apology defines our wound. Once we reclaim our right to actually feel our own hurt, to accept our own anger when we are wounded, what do we do with those emotions?